How to Stop Worrying and Start Living

Summary of “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living” book by Dale Carnegie

The book’s goal is to lead the reader to a more enjoyable and fulfilling life, helping them to become more aware of, not only themselves, but others around them. Dale Carnegie tries to address the everyday nuances of living, in order to get the reader to focus on the more important aspects of life.

Dale Carnegie shows how worry has been conquered by thousands, some famous, but most just ordinary people, and offers practical suggestions for leading a more positive and enjoyable life.

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Fundamental Facts You Should Know About Worry

Live in “day-tight compartments.” Don’t worry about the future. Just live each day until bedtime. Whatever happened in the past or might happen in the future must not intrude upon today.

Ask yourself, “What is the worst that can possibly happen if I can’t solve my problem?” Prepare yourself mentally to accept the worst. Then calmly try to improve upon the worst — which you have already mentally agreed to accept.

Remind yourself of the exorbitant price you can pay for worry in terms of your health. Those who do not know how to fight worry die young.

Basic Techniques in Analyzing Worry

When you are tempted to worry about a problem, write out and answer the following questions:

1. What is the problem?
2. What is the cause of the problem?
3. What are all possible solutions?
4. What is the best solution?

Three basic steps of problem analysis:

Step 1: Get the facts

Half the worry in the world is caused by people trying to make decisions before they have sufficient knowledge on which to base a decision. Write all the facts on a piece of paper and state them in a clear and orderly fashion. A problem well-stated is a problem half-solved

Step 2: Analyze the facts

Make a list of all your options.

Step 3: Arrive at a decision

After carefully weighing all the facts, come to a decision. Once a decision is carefully reached, act! Get busy carrying out your decision — and dismiss all anxiety about the outcome. Don’t even stop for a moment to hesitate, reconsider or retrace your steps. Once you have chosen a course of action, stick to it.

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How to Break the Worry Habit Before It Breaks You

Keep yourself so busy that you don’t have time to worry.

Don’t permit little things to ruin your happiness.

Use the law of averages to outlaw your worries. Ask yourself: “What are the odds against this thing happening at all?”

Co-operate with the inevitable. If you know a circumstance is beyond your power to change or revise, say to yourself: “It is so; it cannot be otherwise.”

Put a “stop-loss” order on your worries. Decide just how much anxiety a thing may be worth — and refuse to give it anymore. If you, for example, have a friend who is always late for a lunch date you can tell her “Betty, my stop-loss order on waiting for you is exactly 10 minutes. If you are not here by then I’ll be out of here”.

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Ways To Cultivate A Mental Attitude That Will Bring You Peace and Happiness

1. Let’s fill our minds with thoughts of peace, courage, health, and hope. Our life is what our thoughts make it. If you think fearful thoughts, you are fearful. If you think miserable thoughts, you become miserable and if you think happy thoughts, you become happy.
2. Let’s never try to get even with our enemies, because if we do we will hurt ourselves far more than we hurt them. Let’s never waste a minute thinking about people we don’t like.
3. Instead of worrying about ingratitude, let’s expect it. The only way to find happiness is not to expect gratitude — but to give for the joy of giving. Gratitude is a “cultivated” trait; so if we want our children to be grateful, we must train them to be grateful.
4. Count your blessings — not your troubles!
5. Let’s not imitate others. Let’s find ourselves and be ourselves, for “envy is ignorance” and “imitation is suicide.”
6. When fate hands us a lemon, let’s try to make lemonade.
7. Let’s forget our own unhappiness — by trying to create a little happiness for others.

The Perfect Way to Conquer Worry

Even if you don’t believe in God and even if you are a skeptic when it comes to religion. Praying can help us to articulate our worries, it provides a sense of not being alone in the world and it gives us the needed energy to take action.

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How to keep from worrying about Criticism

Unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment. It often means that you have aroused jealousy and envy. Remember that no one ever kicks a dead dog.

Do the very best you can, and then put up your old umbrella and keep the rain of criticism from running down the back of your neck.

Let’s keep a record of the fool things we have done and criticize ourselves. Since we can’t hope to be perfect, let’s ask for unbiased, helpful, constructive criticism.

Ways to Prevent Fatigue and Worry and Keep Your Energy and Spirits High

1. Rest before you get tired.
2. Learn to relax at your work and at home.
3. Apply these good workings habits:

• Clear your desk of all papers except those relating to the immediate problem at hand.
• Do things in the order of their importance.
• When you face a problem, solve it then and there if you have the facts to make a decision.
• Learn to organize, delegate, and supervise.

4. To prevent worry and fatigue, put enthusiasm into your work.

5. Remember, no one was ever killed by lack of sleep. It is worrying about insomnia that does the damage, not insomnia.

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